You know that feeling when you’re talking to someone and it feels like you’re having a conversation with a brick wall? Or those moments when you just have to keep repeating yourself and the message just isn’t sinking in?
Well, we’ve got some news for you…
This is all on you.
Too bold?
Okay, let me ask some other questions.
Do you like mayonnaise? Or are you a ketchup person? Dogs or cats? Books or movies?
You see, we all have different preferences. We all like different things.
The same can be said about how we like to communicate.
Often, we will default to a style of communication that suits us. This is especially true when we find ourselves in a situation we are not fully comfortable with.
We may email instead of calling. Speak instead of listen. Or ask questions rather than providing guidance.
However, while this may make us feel great, it can leave those around us confused and unmotivated. Not to mention frustrated about how we handle situations…
When we communicate, it is on us to flex our style to those around us. It is our responsibility, not theirs.
Communication needs to be selfless and for the benefit of the receiver. It shouldn’t be for the benefit of the communicator.
Did you know?
Poor (or selfish) communication is one of the main causes for errors being made. This is often when the person passing the message does just that; passes the message without checking it has been received, understood and created a matching mental picture by the receiver.
Another thing…
These differences in preferred communication style are only exaggerated when we look at the cross-generational workforce. In fact, 63% of people consider it to be a significant challenge in their workplace, alongside management style and work-life balance.
Flexing your Communication muscles
Organisations are finding it a real challenge to hold onto top up-and-coming talent and when you look at challenges around communication, that comes as no surprise.
When communication is poor, employees become disengaged and productivity decreases. However, improving communication will increase the motivation of your people and ultimately improve retention and business performance.
“What counts as different communication styles?” we hear you ask.
Let’s start with the vehicle by which you communicate. It could be over the phone. It could be on Zoom. Or face-to-face. Or Whatsapp. Or Slack. Or email. Each of these have their place and we all have our favourite way. Personally I’ve had to work hard at being comfortable speaking over the phone – let me write my words down any day!
And then we need to remember that communication is not just about what we say. While Professor Albert Mehrabian’s 7% rule has been largely dispelled (that 93% of our communication is non-verbal) and there has thus far been an inability to put a number on it, what is clear to scientists and linguists is that non-verbal communication is hugely important in how we speak to one other and convey messages. Non verbal communication includes; gesturing, body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. We can say exactly the same words but completely change it’s meaning by raising our volume, adding in aggressive hand gestures, lowering the tone of our voices and squaring our shoulders. How many ways can you ask; “where’s the milk?”.
So we’ve figured out how we are going to communicate and what the tone of the message is. Then we get to the structure of the words.
A vital skill for us to learn is how to communicate in multiple different ways, flexing dependent on the message, context, and audience that we are delivering to.
What are you going to do now to start to flex your communication style?
Because, quite frankly, to keep the top performing people in your business, you’re going to have to learn how to communicate with them effectively.
